Hello I'm back :) . No matters how life upset you, you have to be back here ! haha.I had bad weekends as I was sick ! How I wish you are here with me but, you gotta have your own life and mine with my life.Thanks for the chance that you give me to try to be a better person.I might not be what u wish to see me to be , but I promise you , I will live well and be happy.I'm sorry I can't be a better .... of yours.You and I knows best what actually was from the beginning and it's enough that you never lose faith on the hidden truth.
I never fail to cherish the moments I had with you and the only memories that I want to keep tight inside my heart are the memories between us that are full of laughter.Thank you for having been in the important part of my life.Everytime when I think that you are no longer in the important part of my life in future, I feel like everything I did is meaningless.Meaningless to be happy,to work on my dream and many more.Losing you means losing the part of me as I mentioned in one of my previous post.
For this year christmas which is your birthday, will be the first year I do nothing for you as the only thing I can do is to pray for you in my heart.Whenever I look every pictures of you that I combined in a slide video, I couldnt help myself to stop crying because that is the last thing I made for you. Sometimes, when I wake up from my sleep, I forget the facts that you are away, and the only thing I can do is, smile to myself and telling myself that ' everything had end' by continuing to get off from my bed to start my routine as students. Sometimes, I will run into tears if I ever forget that you are away.
For every chance that you give me to be better, I will not waste that although it's hard.You showed me the way to my own happiness, creating the independent me and a stronger person than I was before. As time goes by, I'm more pessimist, I will be better. Thank you for having faith in me for going through all these. It's hard for you to go through the wrong that others are pointing at you and you just accept it although u did nothing wrong. As for me, I have no doubt at all and have the believe in you because I know what type of person you used to be. What I'm angry was, the closest person you had with you, does not believe in you at that time and create lots of misunderstandings .
Hello everybody ! Yes, it had been a long time. HAHA ! thanks for reading my blog :)
This part 3 of my life in the hospital would be the last one. For some part of it that had been untold, I just wanna keep it tight inside my heart for the memories that I can cherish in my lifetime.
Continuing with the part 2 , that night , the day where Dr. Tai analyse the MRI result in the afternoon, he came to visit me again in the ward room. I could sense that he looks very busy because while he came and ask my condition, he totally forget to ask me whether I agreed to go for operation. Until I told him, 'Dr, I want go for operation tomorrow , and my family had agreed'.Dr. Tai-' Okay, tomorrow morning I come around 7 for you to sign the letter of consent.You cannot eat or drink anything after 7am in the morning, I will call the nurse to bring bread for you , you can eat first before 7am.' I was just agreeing to what he say.Before he went off, he looked on my swelling knee and asked me to apply ice.When he see the ice pack fill with water and was like expanding like a balloon, he took out and inflate the ice pack for me before he goes off.
On the next morning, he came with his personal nurse and let me sign a consent letter.Dr, ask me whether I ate anything edy before 7am, and I told him I ate biscuits just now then reminded me not to drink or eat after 7am until after the operation. At about 9am, the physiotherapist made a call to my room and ask whether I still wanna go for physiotherapy because she scared I'm too tired.But too bad, I din manage to answer the call because it tooks time for me to pick up the call from my bed as my leg was stuck with an ice pack and could not move too much. Then the physiotherapist come to my room and asked me.HAHA ! I said I dun wanna go edy.
My mum reached the hospital from subang airport to accompany me at about 9.30am.Again, I'm so happy, my mum came .Once my mum arrived at the hospital, she called Dr. Tai and asked about the operation about the needle used in the operation that Dr. Tai previously told my mum. My mum asked him to use the best needle and this time Dr. Tai said again, ' Dun worry, I will operate her like my own daughther'.HAHA!At about 10am , a nurse came and gave me a surgical soap to bath and change into surgical wear.Around 12pm, I was pushed into a waiting room for the operating theatre. There a anesthetist made preparation to put anesthesia ( drugs ) to make me fall asleep throughout the operation. He find vein on my hand to inject a big needle and put something like a cover hole connected to my hand to pour the drug later on.
The operation is scheduled at 2pm . Everyone is ready and only waiting for Dr. Tai. Dr. Tai came around 3pm and I was pushed into the operating theatre. A small portion of anesthesia was poured and right after I shift myself into the operating bed, I was asleep. This is just like a dream ! Did not manage to see Dr. Tai face also and I was sleeping already in the OT room.After an hour plus,the operation is done and I was put at a quarantine room for a while for them to monitor my condition. Some of the nurse woke me up from my sleep for the cause of the drug and I when I opened my eyes, I was so weak. Refused to speak,and on my mind ' huh, operation finish already'. No feeling at all.haha ! the moment I open my eyes, I heard someone beside me, probably a nurse, saying ' MINIMAL BLOOD LOSS'. My mind was like FUH ! When they call me , I opened my eyes and nodded to them and continue to sleep again.hahahaha ! So weak weyhhh !
As I slept throughout the operation, and didn't even manage to
see Dr. Tai before the operation begins, this picture shows him
in the OT room. ( middle )
I was pushed into my ward room, and I saw my mum, aunt and uncle there. Could speak a little with my mum. I heard my mum say ' Dr. Tai say u need to drink a lot of water ' . I woke up from my sleep and talk a little with them. And then , suddenly I feel that my leg very very pain . The feeling is just like u take a knives and cut your leg. I cannot bear the pain and told my mum. I was in a sitting position with my hand holding my knee and was crying in pain. I screamed in pain and cried probably the painkiller I ate havent function in my body.The nurses was like so worried to see me....hahaha ! I guess they called Dr. Tai and ask whether they can inject a liquid type painkiller to reduce my pain. Without delaying, I was injected and I stopped crying and few minutes later, slept again. When I think again, this is so funny.HAHA! So embarassing that the waitress that serving food to my room the next day asking me ' girl, yesterday I saw you crying in pain and the nurse have no idea how to stop you from crying' . HAHAHAHAHHA ! I was just smiling at her.
I was injected a painkiller at about 5pm and I slept until 8pm . When I opened my eye, I saw my uncle and aunt,come visiting me.I don't feel like eating anything except subway.I told the waitress not to bring fish for me to eat , or else, I won't eat because I don't eat fish.haha.Later Dr. Tai came and see my condition. So suffer that I could not go down the bed until the next day. The next day , Dr. Tai came again and I asked 'doctor, can I go to the toilet'.haha ! He answered me ' I know it looks weird and you don't use to not going to the toilet' . haha. He opened my bandange on my knee and his personal nurse put a waterproof plaster. Dr. Tai said, I will call the nurse to teach you how to bath because although it was a waterproof plaster but it actually not waterproof as you need to also cover it with a plastic.Later, I will call the physiotherapist to come to the ward and teach you how to walk using the stretcher then at night I will come again see you walking with the stretcher.
When the physiotherapist came in the afternoon, there are 3 of them, teaching me how to walk.It is suffering as I still have a little pain n swelling. When I walked, I feel like the plaster pasted my his personal nurse pasted on the thread and the thread is pulling. I kept complaining to my mum then my mum say later you tell Dr. Tai. Dr. Tai came at night and wanted to see me walking with the stretcher.Then I asked Dr Tai, "Dr, I feel like this plaster keep pull on the thread' . Really I never bluff.Then He called the nurse to bring a new plaster.haha! This time I'm so happy, Dr. Tai pasted new plaster for me !!! WEEE !! When he opened the plaster, my hand so itchy wanna touch the thread, then doctor say, don't touch ar, I paste for you later you got bacteria infection.I was so happy, Dr. Tai paste plaster for me.hehe !
Then I asked dr tai,
Me :doc later the plaster open how ?
Doc: Where can open, you see, ( pointing at the plaster tape) this one , dun open one la '.If the plaster open, straight away go to the clinic / hospital to change it or else there will be bacterial infection. Just in case it open, but I'm sure it won't open.
Me: Dr, just now I tried to walk , but I feel the tightness in my knee and it makes me couldnt walk normally.
Dr Tai : Just keep on walking n walking, you can see the patient beside your room, she is older than you but she can walk one day right after operation.My girl, you are only 18 years old, I'm sure you can walk better than her.Don't worry too much, my girl. Let all your worry to me . Be like my grandmother, who is 90+ years old, she never feel worried because she let all my worries to me.
Me : hahaha. ( Just laughing ) . Dr, the ice pack hor, gv pressure on my knee, feel very pain and makes me refuse to put the ice pack after operation.
Dr. Tai : Ok, I will call the nurse to supply you the ice bag as the ice bag is yours and you going to take it back home.
Me: (I was laughing happily.haha. I feel like I'm the world most luckiest patient.)
Dr. Tai : Ok, good night . I will see u tmr early morning for the last time before I leave for Perth . I want to make sure everything is ok and I don't want later while I'm in the plane, the hospital call me.If anything, you can send sms to my PA and my PA will forward to me and I will reply your msg .
Me: Okey. Who is your PA?
( confidential answer ) haha
In my own view, I feel Dr. Tai likes to communicate with his patient more, rather than the patient's family members.He prefers, patient share their feelings to him and this is the reason why, he can feel what the patient's feel.That in turns, makes him the best DOCTOR in my heart.I guess I saw a clear difference between what is 'a doctor' and ' a good doctor'. I know there are a lot more good doctors in the whole world, but I feel lucky that I met one and having a very good memories in a place called hospital.Since young, I had a skeptical mindset about hospital because I used to meet doctors who are lack of confidence and non professional nurses.
Although there is imperfection on my knee , not as good as before, I thank God for giving me the opportunity to stand , to walk like how I used to be and at least to do things that I can do on my own.The most suffering feeling is to see yourself dependent on others on a simple task in your daily chores and couldn't reach for things by yourself.The most painful moment throughout my injury is when you realised that you are just like a half paralyzed person especially when you going up the stairs through a sitting position.While the stressful moment lies in when my brain said something but my leg movement shows another thing.
Before it's too late, do not delay things you wish to do and you can do . Don't cry over spilt milk ! While you still have the ability to do it, appreciate the opportunity as time is keep moving forward. We may not know whether we can still do the things we like to do in future and it's better to embrace the present moment with the things that we can do with all our heart. At least, if there is a day where there are things we wish to do but we can't do it, we won't feel regret.
Happy 2nd years ! I could only think about that wish.Thanks for being absent in my life for 2 years, you made me a better person I'm, compared to 2 years ago and you made me a stronger person than I ever be.As time is the best medicine, thank you for breaking this very heavy burden in my heart . I cried, many times esp before I slept because you always came to my mind.However, it was a year ago n I remembered I cried for the last time in January this year.I still having you in my new year wish and so did my birthday wishes.When I looked through all the wishes, that I received from you and sent to you, deep in my heart i still hope to receive wishes from you although it's impossible.
I feel like I lost a part of myself two years ago and I'm trying to find that part again.I know I am not the person that you used to know and finally im able to admit that and move on.The path towards that part of me, had not been easy and it takes longer time.I did work on it and even now still mend the part that had lost a little n little.I believe as time goes by, it will certainly be alot better. I had a bad feeling of missing you, when I forget the facts that you are away.I made all possible ways to make it like nothing ha happened but at last still, I couldnt deceive myself and face reality. The worst feeling is to have been dreamt about you having here in my heart.When I woke up, I would have tears & the pain feelings in my heart but everytime I cried, I persuade myself that everything is over and nothing could have changed the fate of you and me.
I'm happy that u are not only my motivator and educator but also a friend and many more that all moulded into one person.It's my fault for not appreciating how supportive you had been and I feel regret for not much to learn from the best in you which is the qualities that I admire and respect the most.Thanks for being the first person I'm willing to learn from every aspects of life and consider a role model till now.For the last time, I told you, no ..... can replace the best in you in my heart. Eventhough there are chances that I might meet someone which is much better in that particular field, the best in you will continue to stay in my heart forever.I guess you will remember this word from me, the words that only both of us know best 'my... is my best...'
Life without you, I find it hard to smile and be happy. Maybe because I pray to God to give my happiness to you or else I ll waste my own happiness because I just could not be happy like last time. Sometimes when I feel happy, I ll laugh a lot probably to forget the pain in my heart, to let everything out and giving myself chance to start over again to find back the happiness I lost. At times, I have to force a smile so that people around me, those who concern about me will not feel I'm not happy and be worry.
It will be almost 2 years I live my life on my own without the shadow of you.If I say, life had much more been easier and happy without you, I will be lying to myself.It had not been easy but it do gets better each and everyday and I have to admit the facts that time is the best medicine.It had never been easy to leave every single memories that had stayed in your heart strongly . To not to think, to not to talk, to not to see and to not to feel. It's hard.If a year ago, everytime I wake up in the morning, my mind is totally about you, now it seems that you hv been kept in other edge of my mind but believe that you are always here in a irreplaceable place in my heart.Im happy to see you being yourself especially the brave you....Not only reminds me to be a brave person,but at least I know it was not a forceful one..Before 2013 ends,I wish, we will meet but I know,I will be meeting a stranger not the old you . I understand the reason we are trying to forget all those reasons and acted like everything seem to be fine : ) Life gotta move on right , no matter how much it saddened you.
Walking into different path of my life, I begin to look life into different perspective and the value of being independent.I never thought I would be this strong but I'm certain that it's because of your motivation although you aint here anymore.I wish someday I will be able to fly to Taiwan once again because it is the places where I will think of you . I still remember that time, when I was there, I received your message and I was so keen to be back Malaysia but I just could not because I was in 10 days trip. My mood was not good and my face looks pale for about two days, I'm sick that time. As I reached a place where rocks are everywhere and there is waterfall too, I sat there alone dreaming as I was sick.There is where I think of many things and wish that you are there too for the breathtaking scenery.Back in Malaysia, I begin to explore the place you wish to go, Australia.Unfortunately, we could not go there together.
One thing that you would not know, I gave up medicine field because of you.You said I will be a good doctor but I'm sorry for disappointing you. Sorry I can't be a good doctor just like what you wish to see. I feel bad and this is the worst feeling ever.Leaving everything behind cause by the shadow of you, I guess is the right choice but it had not been easy.My decision is hard as I nearly choose to be a doctor . I know it had been my parents wishes that it is good if one of us could pursue medicine.I know it because at that time when I was about to send all the doc, I suddenly changed my mind and told my mum that I want to pursue medicine.I could see from her face that she is happy when I told her this, compare to i'm telling her that i'm going to pursue law.
Finally I choose law, although that decision of mine will disappoint you that wish to see me to be a doctor and would be able to take care of my family in future.I'm sorry for always failing to be a better ... of yours : ' ( . I know I promised you to be a good doctor but it all comes to an end.
Part 2 of this topic, related to my experience of the second day being warded.I still remember on the night of my first day at the hospital, Dr.Tai told me-tomorrow (my 2nd day) will be a busy day for me because I need to go physiotherapy for few sessions,morning and afternoon session plus,I have to go for MRI scan.Sharp at 9 the next morning , Dr.tai's nurse came and inform me abt the physiotherapy and arrange for me a MRI scan too.there is a painkiller n a medicine called arcoxia that reduce swelling I need to eat.The painkiller is to reduce my pain when I do rehabilitation exercise.
Later,a physiotherapist came to my ward with a wheel chair n brought me to the rehabilitation center just below 1 floor from my ward.The physiotherapist is so friendly except for that particular man physiotherapist that probably acted that he is the doctor.I hated him since the first time I saw him,on that day itself.My bro and my aunt later arrived and accompanied me at the center.
One of the physiotherapist taught me a simple exercise that is lifting up my knee.They couldn't advse me to do more heavier exercise as the actual injury has not been determined bcz I hvnt do MRI scan.I felt that I'm such a failure and useless person as I could not even lift up my left knee .It is suffering that my brain said I shud lift up my knee,but the knee doesn't move even I forced myself.I tried n I managed to lift up but the pain is unbearable n I nearly cry.I couldn't straighthen my knee too.My bro juz force me to complete the exercise but I couldnt.I know best my condition.The man physiotherapist that I hated come towards me again and said 'I thought is a soft tissue injury only,u shud be able to lift up your knee'?told you havent do MRI still wan ask me question that a scanner can give the answer.this is the time whre he acted like he is the doctor and examined my knee and said to his colleague -'ACL injury'.Then they dun further ask me to do exercises and apply treatment to my knee to reduce swelling.
I realised there is totally no more joy that my knee just could not function like usual.It worsen and my leg muscle is weak after 2 weeks could not not walk properly.
After the physio session I went for MRI scan.My first experience!haha.not nice at all! U just have to remain static and could not move your knees for 15 minutes.So torchering that you could not move yourself or else the result failed.Back to the ward room, I had a chit chat session with my bro and my aunt while waiting for the MRI result and Dr. Tai. At that time, Dr. Tai's nurse came and told that Dr.Tai is having a hand surgery and still couldnt come to the ward.We waited till afternoon and there came Dr. Tai ! haha.cool man...after surgery straight away come to the ward and analyse my MRI result.Suddenly, a nurse came to my ward room and told me that Dr. Tai waiting for me at the room where they analysed MRI and x ray.To have a clearer pic about the MRI film I need to go to that room . I walked using a walking stick ( the kind that the old woman usually used ) to that room.On my way to that room, suddenly Dr. Tai came out and saw me and it is at this time that Dr. Tai observing my leg through the way I walked.I wasn't know till after operation that he told me 'I remember I saw you walk so bravely even you have injury in your knee and I'm sure you can walk even better than that after operation' . Till then, I knew he had always been noticing the improvement on my leg without letting me know.I guess I understand the reason why I feel that Dr. Tai is a very understanding doctor.Although he is not the patient he feels what the patient feels and this is what makes him the best doctor in my heart.Not every doctors can stand at the patient's position and willing to understd the pain that a patient feel.
About the MRI result, I had a medial meniscus tear and he advised me to undergo arthroscopy surgery to trim my meniscus.I can't wait any longer because my meniscus will tear further in few months later.It won't heals on its own because the part of the meniscus that alrdy tear have no blood supply.If without the surgery, the meniscus might tear completely and causes friction between two bones.In the eyes of a patient like me, an excellent doctor is the one that will think more towards a patient future by seeing through future side effect that a patient might be going through.Dr. Tai did well in explaining that and I can laugh what he is saying some more and no stress at all.If the doctor talking to me is not Dr. Tai I guess I will just look seriously at the doctor and being so stress up.The room is filled with laughter when he is explaining and we are discussing together with my aunt and bro.
He went too far explaining towards long term about the possibilities that I will get married in future and might get pregnant and give too much pressure to my knee.LOL! I was so stupid replying him 'I'm not pregnant'.And he replied, my girl, I said long term not the short term.Of course I will be telling you long term instead of short term effect without the operation' .And I was so awkward ...and just laugh! I never thought he would think so far although he knows im just 18 at that time.My aunt laughing at me too . blushing**
Then my aunt asked me to call my mum and Dr. Tai explained too much that I dunno what shud I tell my mum.Thank you that Dr. Tai help to explain to my mum by using my phone as I called my mum on the spot.One of his conversation with my mum is that 'Don't worry..just a minor operation.I will operate her just like my own daughther.' I was laughing again when he said this .Before he left us for other patients that are waiting for him for since morning 10am at the waiting room till the afternoon, he said ' You all ar very funny ' . Hahaha.'Shall see you again tonight at the ward room and you can think about it first whether to undergo the operation or not and tell me tonight k girl?'
Actually in terms of his expertise I had no doubt at all . That time, he will be leaving for Perth and his timetable quite pack and is better if I could make decision fast so that he can find suitable time for the operation and it would be best if the operation could be before he go to Perth or else I had to wait after he came back from Perth which will be the starting of my semester.
Will write soon ! maybe after finals . thank you for reading my blog .
My birthday finally over but in this post, I will not be sharing about my birthday but about this special topic of my post.Some of you may think that this topic is just too normal but I knew what Dr. Tai meant by when he said this.For me it is true and I agreed that 'a simple body motion brings much joy to an individual.'
Thank you to Dr. Tai for bringing this joy not only to me but other patients as well.Maybe to the reader of this post could not feel the joy that I meant because you guys and girls never experience it before.What can I say, the moment you realise, some parts of your body had malfunctioning it is the time where there is no more joy.I guess in most part is our knees. When your knees give you problem, it is where your movement had been limited.You just could not stand straight when there is injury on your knee and when you walks,you are limping.It makes you tired and you end up to have waist pain and refuse to move.The most unacceptable part is that, when it comes to climbing up the stairs, you realised that you are useless and you have not much difference with a paralyzed person.I tried but only my brain said I should move but my leg being static and couldnt move and lift up.The only way to climb up the stairs is by sitting down and for every steps of the stairs, i need to use my hand to lift up my leg in a sitting position.
After finals of the last semester in foundation, my mum came down Malacca and bring me to GH for appointment with the specialist there.After the appointment,we went to malacca sentral because my mum wanna do her spectacles.When I reached sentral,I walked into it and it looks like I'm pretending because I walked slow without any support.I chose a spot to sit while waiting for my mum to do her spectacles.The doctor said I couldnt move alot especially when he injected something on my knee for the main reason to determine whether inside of my knee had injured or not.The result is YES ! 10 cc of blood is out and my knee is still swelling .I sat alone and thinking about what the doctor said about my knee and never pay attention to anyone else .My mood was very bad but I tried to control although I know my mum knew it.I know my mum just wanna make me forget what the doctor said by asking me whether I wanted to eat ice cream or other food but I refused to because I know I won't finish the food.
When it came to lunch time, my mum ask me whether I want to eat MCD for lunch and I said alright. I got off from my sitting spot and walk towards MCD from where I'm sitting which is the taxi stand with my mum.I stood up and feel like wanna crying because my leg just could not move.I still tried and acting brave to walk by holding my mum but on that point onwards,I knew I couldnt move my leg.I managed to walk halfway and still a long way towards mcd from my sitting spot.I stopped and I told my mum I couldnt walk anymore because it's painful and tiring.When I walk more, my knee keep swelling and more stiff.On this time, my eyes started to be watery and tears rolled down from my cheeks, for this moment,there are no particular sense of joy anymore but I feel blessed to have my mum beside me.
Later, we decided to have our lunch at the nearby restaurant from where I stopped my walking and I never eat all my food as something wondering my mind.I just feel helpless when I think back what the doctor had said to me.My mum ask me to forget what the doctor's say . The doctor suspected about the injury on my meniscus or ligament and at that time I was so blurred,which part in my knee is meniscus?haha. The doctor still wanna see my condition in 2 weeks time and the only thing I can do is to reduce my swelling by icing.Everyday for every 2 hours I iced my knee for about 15 minutes .The swelling did reduce but it will come again.No matter how hard I tried to ice my knee the swelling will still come.I told myself to be optimistic and continue to ice my knee for about a week to monitor my knee.After 1 week, I knew and very sure my knee injured very seriously. Every night before I slept, I scroll websites about orthopaedics information regarding the main ligament, anterior cruciate ligament because the GH hospital doctor emphasizes on that. I did search about meniscus injury symptoms too.Both search about meniscus and ligament told me that one of the symptoms it looks similar is SWELLING. Oh god ! I browsed the internet about the cure and many did gave me a cure that only ORTHOPAEDICS SURGEON can give me.I admitted that I was so sad when I knew more about my knee condition and I made my choice to go for MRI in private hospital.I told my mum about everything that I research about and my decision to straight go for MRI without having to wait semester break finish to go for the appointmnt with the GH hospital doctor again.
My mum allows me and made her research about doctors.Since my aunt going to KL and she recommended Sime Darby hospital , my mum made an appointment with Dr. Tai Cheh Chin.Few hours before I depart for KL by my aunt's car, my mum showed me in the website which doctor I should meet through the profile picture displayed .hahaha ! Luckily, she did showed me or else I would think that Dr. Tai's nurse is my doctor.hahaha !
My very first picture of my injured knee : )
Till here and we shall meet again for part 2 of this particular topic
' A simple body motion can bring much joy to an individual' - Dr Tai Cheh Chin
Sincerely,
Young girl
p/s: young girl is what Dr. Tai always call me when he emphasizes that I'm still young because I'm 18 : P
This date is one of the happiest day ! haha : ) I finally met doctor tai ...my most respected doctor .
The feelings after few months of study and back to the hospital is just like my first step into the Sime Darby hospital in Subang Jaya .Dr. Tai's personal assistant had been smiling at me when I reached to register and waiting for my turn.Haha.We have been friends through text messages and she remembered my name too.Probably because I'm so funny in the doctor's room that sometimes the questions I asked, made everybody laugh including the nurse and Dr.Tai .I just dunno why.
My first question on the day of consultation that day with Dr Tai had made him laugh at me.LOL.haha.I just miss Dr Tai's visiting to the ward .Recalling back the first day I met Dr. Tai , before I entered to the consultation suite, he gave me a very good impression.His personal nurse, asked me first about my conditions and wrote it down and discussed with him . At that time, I told the nurse the reason I came is to make a MRI scan without x ray as I had already made an x ray previously in GH malacca.But somehow I didnt have the copy of the x ray .At that time, it havent reach my turn , and after discussing with Dr. Tai the nurse said that Dr.tai wants me to do the x ray first.I just agreed with the nurse and few minutes after talking with the nurse, Dr. Tai came out and saw me but at that time he wasn't recognized me because that day was our first meet and my turn havent reach yet.After he saw me, he asked the nurse whether I'm his patient that going wish to have MRI scan and then he came to me and have a little talk with me before he goes off very rushly to somewhre else.That is the time, he gave me the very first good impression of a doctor that is not arrogant like some other doctors and the way he rush himself shows that he cares every patients are waiting for him.
When my turn had reached, he look into the x ray scan and said that evrything is ok in the x ray result and he examined my leg.He examined which part of my knee hurts alot while I was at the lying state.He pressed on my knee, bend it and pressed some parts of the knee to determine which part hurts the most.The last part of examining was that , he made a Zig- Zag on my knee and that is where I shouted for pain ! I grab hold the wall right beside me and felt the pain for few minutes.That time, Dr. Tai said ' I'm sorry, I'm sorry and I'm sorry ' and made a decision that ' alright we will go for MRI '.Dr. Tai transferred me to another hospital to be warded which is the Sime Darby hospital in Ara Damansara. He said there is more like a 5 star hotel plus not very busy and things can be done very fast like examining the MRI .
What he said is indeed true. I used to see how hospital life is all about and I really hated being warded in the hospital.But Dr. Tai made me even love the life in the hospital more few months ago back in Sime Darby Ara Damansara hospital.The hospital is so peaceful that right in the ward room, I can know Dr. Tai had came for visiting by hearing his voices from the ward room i stayed.The ward room I stayed have got attached private bathroom and a LCD TV right in front of my bed and a very clean surrounding.It gives me a home feeling and I feel so lucky .
There is alot more to say actually as this is just the first day of my experience of being warded.
I begin to realise what a relationship need the most is this word TRUST . Without TRUST you couldnt be happy in a relationship,without TRUST your love for your partner will continue to ceast with time and without TRUST a relationship will works only halfway.
I guess you should be honest in what you are doing to gain trust from others including your partner.How could you cultivate trust from your partner if you yourself could not be honest to others? If you love her, you should change and prove to her that you are the only one that she trust of all your love that you shattered upon her.
Maybe your love for her is too deep that you could not see how the way she treat you is just concern not LOVE ! If that is truly LOVE at that time, she would not have reason to say that's not LOVE now .
July will be coming to an end. I just love staircase so much that now I'm writing blog by the staircase.haha
: ) It will be soon 9 years I get to knw you.I'm sorry for letting our friendship to end the way we don't wish to.I once told you to remember the date after my birthday,which is the day we met each other.I guess now,you wouldnt remember anymore. Recently, I saw many of your vacation photos, all that are very beautiful.I used to comments on the photos you took, but now, although I don't comment, it doesnt meant that I did not look at it.Whenever I get to know, you took lotsa pictures,I will be asking u to upload those photos.haha : )
On your graduation day,I did wish you and you knw it .You struggled alot and you deserve it.You proved to me I can do even better than you.That's why, you are not only my supporter but also my inspiration.Your words and advice still kept very tight inside my heart although I realised the facts that I need to forget all that.
When I called to wish you on your special day after the finals of my third semester in foundation, I wish I can tell you, I feel very pain,pain and pain on my leg.I heard your cheerful voice and I told myself I have to be strong and not letting you to know the pains on my leg because I want you to be the happiest man in the world.If I tell you,I will burst into tears, and I will have no reason to forget every words from you that build the confidence in me.Just only a call to 'wish' already make me cried after the call had ended.I spoke very calm and happy on the call but it doesnt seems to be like that.It's good that you know, I already find the old me.
Thank you that you used to be the person that cares me alot.No matter what I encounter in life, you always stick in my mind.Thank you that at times of failures and at times when I said I couldnt, you showed me there are always ways.It's true that 'THE BEST OF ME, REMINDS ME OF YOU'.
Halo ! Halo ! Halo ! Haha. How are you , my dear readers : )
Yes it had been 2 months after my operation but still in a recovery stage.Actually I have alot to share from the start till the end of what had happened to me for the past few months but I just have no time yet.Currently so busy for all those commitments of being a student.I'm missing semester break so much and also time with my family.If given a chance, I wish to go back to my primary & secondary school life.haha.but impossible right?
1 month to go refers to what? My BIRTHDAY ! Yipee ! hahaha. I guess I gotta love 22 so much.The date 22 always have something that change my life .
Every 22 August - my birthday
but not every 22 June - my operation. HAHA.Oh, this is going to be the first and last time ! God blessed ...
Thank you to my lovely parents and my siblings especially my eldest brother, for always be with me whatever that happens in my life.I feel I am the luckiest sister for having such a good brother . hee : )
I am thankful too for everyone who helps me when I'm down, especially my friends for all the support that I received.
It will never be the same anymore .... : ( but I thank God for what I have. Just a short updates for a break of a stressful mind.
Halo everyone.Thanks for visiting my blog.I think I hv changed.Change for the facts that,I begin to accept the absence of you .Yes it had been 1 year,9 months and 7 days. As time move on, it makes me clear of the reasons . Recently, I call and wish you on the special day of yours.This is the first time I never laugh when I speak with you,our conversation are serious.We are like strangers and never like last time anymore.I speak what's necessary and that's it, our conversation ends...
Maybe, I just don't want you to feel that I still care for you.I told you,everything had been so well but it doesnt appears to be well.Last time if anything happens to me , you will be one of the earliest to know but now, you never need to know : '( very sad ...
Now,it's still the heart that sometimes sad but I guess I have move on to a stage where I'm looking forward and not turning back.I couldnt be dreaming for the past as the present awaits me.What I apprcte the most is that you believe in me rather than I believe in myself.Thank you for believing in me at times of my failure.Unfortunately,I have lost a very important person in my heart, a person who inspires me with his words and advice to make me a better person.I cried ...but no matter how much tears,you will not be anymore...TEDDY BEAR MISS YOU
To all readers , I'm back after dreaming for a month ! haha.Although i didn't blog,it doesnt mean that i'm busy, just that I just don't feel to write in my blog.1 month of semester break makes me always have reasons to be away from my laptop because I really want to cherish my free time.Very few posts or even no post from me at facebook during the break.Now im back to my study life and laptop is always on my table.I spent my chinese new year in Bangkok with my family this year and I really love Bangkok.What I love most about Bangkok are their food n shoppings ! I dn't really feel want to write about my Bangkok trip as I'm going to blog about my life being back here as student.
Everything is ok here,just except for the facts that I'm not sure whether I have fall for him ! Yes, I hate this feeling but I can't hide the truth.He will always be the secret of my heart as although we are from the same course,we are different batch . Again,I fall for the wrong person.Reflecting back the first day I get to know him n interact with him, he gave me a first impression that 'he is funny' when he speaks out + his face expression.The second day I met him, I feel comfortable n secure being with him .This is the day where I dun feel panic n vy cool facing that incident.What incident is that?well,if i share,I have no secret anymore !haha :P Although many thinks that he is coward but actually he is brave.I really salute his braveness n patience.He is good in the way that he advise in a good way and learn to understand people.His care towards people is more than himself.Somehow,my feelings for him will remain a secret for myself.I believe if we are made for each other,someday there's always reasons for us to be together.That's all from me : ) Can't explain more.
From the first day I get to know you years ago, your smile hv made me even want to know you more.To me your smile very special because in any situations,you are always smiling.I asked you what makes you smile all the time,and you answered me that you wish to see evryone around you happy.Your concern for others more than yourself,made me feel blessed for knowing you.That's the reason I salute you despites other values that you had.Your smiles are really sincere too as everytime you smile,it's from your heart.You cheer me up with those messages that you sent at times when I shared my feelings,experience,my day and everything.Thank you for giving me those happy moments and I really cherish them.I will keep that smiles of you inside my heart although you are not the reason I continue to smile anymore.
You made me realised what happiness really are and change my narrow perceptions about happiness.Hope your smile continue to be the reason of your blissful life ahead.I always prayed for your blissfulness.Do you know what makes me very happy when I see you smile?? It's when I talk about things that we shared the common interests and opinions.Everytime I feel sad about something even until now, I will always told myself not to bother to much about the sadness and always remember your smile and I will be happy.I admit, those times when i'm trying to smile,it makes me reminds you and deep inside my heart I realised the smile I have now are not like last time anymore.Sometimes tears rolled down my cheeks when I see smiling pictures of you because truly I miss to see how you used to smile.I know you suffers so much pain which are caused by me but you never fail to give me a smile of you.Without me, I'm sure you can smile better.I'm sorry for those troubles that I made.I hope you will smile always just like how you used to smile before knowing me,because deep inside my heart I do which that in every destiny of your life there must be the presence of smile : )
Halo February,halo all ! haha. Just a very short post from me, kind of gving myself some breaks as I left 2 more papers for finals.The title of my post is about "Forgetting".
I have a quote to share."It takes a minute to have a crush on someone,an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone." Isn't that true?
It takes a very hard time to move on and forget someone who had moved your life so much,for better and worse.Reminiscing the things you had done to make me a better person today,the memories that we could put a smile on,it's tough.But I know I have to, because of you.You said i am a strong person, but how could you said that when the truth is i'm not strong enough....
Sincerely,
Friday, 18 January 2013
Hi readers.I think that my January posts will be just two.haha.Kinda busy now preparing for finals.First of all,thank you for reading my blog and commenting on my blog.I really do appreciate it.Well for today post i shall talk about what happen in december and my recent interest.I know it's a little bit to late to wish everyone Happy new year 2013 !
I had a really great december as i went to Singapore n manage to meet my family there.We had lots of fun n the pictures I posted in fb are abt universal studios.I miss my brother so much and im happy to meet him at Singapore : ) I have the best brother in the world.We shared many things together mybe because he's just 1 year older than me but frankly speaking,he is more mature than me.Haha.He always support me in everything I do n never fail to listen everything that I told him when i started to talk alot !haha.Thank you for being so tolerance with me.You are my awesome n loving brother.I love you always bro ! I miss going to school with you and when I sick,you will ask me whether I can carry my bag to class from the school gate.haha.I miss so much to ask you about the solutions to my school homewrk when I encountered problem..When it was rainy days,you will always remind me to wear raincoats and i will be like refuse to wear it .
And the most important thing I couldn't forget,December is your BIRTHDAY!Still wishing YOU on your birthday but I realised it was not like last time anymore.You changed and time had determine everything.I have to admit,you are so far from me now.But just like what I said in my previous post,god's willing.No matter what,I wish all the happiness and blissfulness be with you now and always.Thank you for being a great inspiration to me in my life and your inspiration that you gave to me always HERE in my heart.
About my recent interest,i begin to love photography n photo editing :)) I don't know why ...I will post about my first work during sem break in my blog.For now,all that i have in minds are exams.
Just a short post from me and till we meet again in February ya !
